Stages of Grief
by Lightofstar
Summary: Darkdevil didn't know how to feel when he heard the news from Spider-Girl. Spoilers for Spider-Girl The End. MC2
1. Denial

Denial

_"...I should have been able to save her."_

It became something of a manta over the past few days that ran through the vigilantes' mind during daily routes. Really everything seemed to be on autopilot as the shock settled in. It didn't seem possible, it simply couldn't be true. There wasn't even a body and in their line of work that usually meant the person in question (usually the bad guy) would show up in a few months. It was probably just the typical disappearing act.

Then why was it so hard to move on past the idea of her dying?

It wasn't like they even knew each other well. Their first and only meeting consisted of April trying to kill him...but they connected a little bit, right? For a moment he could have sworn he reached her, got her to see that she had a chance at a better life. Not that it lasted long enough to actually affect the girl. Not long afterwards April started getting involve in the gang war and began killing power players in a misguided attempt to prove herself.

_"...I should have been able to save her. I was never there for her when she needed me."_

May had been even more determined in fighting crime to the point she was exhausting herself. If not for him Spider-Girl would have collapsed mid-swing. That was when she broke down and told him about April. Darkdevil honestly didn't know how to react to the news. Not that it mattered, May seemed more interested in venting than hearing his opinion on the matter. How this somehow made her a horrible person for not seeing how lost April was. How she was more concerned with the dramas in her own life than her "sister." How guilty she felt about being annoyed with April and wondering if she dismissed her because she was a clone.

As much as he wanted to ignore the highly annoying soul deep ache he referred to as "Parker guilt" it wouldn't go away. Reilly hated Parker guilt because it derailed common sense and caused the unlucky bearer of the emotion to do truly stupid things. Like May deciding to let the Faces go or Kaine deciding to evoke dark forces to raise Daredevil. Commonly confused for responsibility the sensation was downright overpowering. Because of the nature of his current state Reilly didn't experience it like Peter or May would. That is to say he wouldn't lose any sleep over breaking a murderers' leg where else the Parkers would constantly berate themselves and come up with solutions for preventing it from occurring again.

Yet Reilly felt it, keenly at times but he always prided himself on being able to suppress it better than the others. Kinda. Most of the times. But yeah, he had it bad. No matter what he did Reilly kept thinking back to everything he knew about April. From the day Peter had lost it and tried to beat Kaine to death to learn if May was the clone. They hadn't known why he'd flipped for some time and really he'd been more distracted with the punch that May had nearly taken that had been intended for him. A punch Peter admitted could have killed someone. He tried really hard not to think too hard over that one.

_"...I should have been able to save her. I was never there for her when she needed me. All I thought about was myself. "_

If he was honest with himself then Reilly would admit that the whole clone thing had never been properly accepted in his mind. How did one deal with the fact that their dead father was a clone of a superhero? That those genes he inherited from that clone nearly killed him? Or that the other clone of that superhero was a killer that ended up turning him into a bigger freak than he already was?

So hearing that May either had a clone or was the clone sorta threw him off his game. He kept away from assisting Spider-Girl on purpose, figuring that the girls would be working together. But in truth it was partly to keep himself from getting involved. It already hurt to be as close as he was to the Parkers and he wasn't sure he would be able to deal with a new one. Plus the hybrid symbiote aspect hadn't helped, all he needed was another dealing with a furious symbiote.

When May had told him of the possiblity of the girl who claimed to be "Gwen Reilly"...Bens' daugther...well that had gotten his interest. For one horrible moment Reilly contemplated losing a sister he never knew he had. Getting confirmation that the dead girl wasn't related didn't help in the slightest. If not for Mays' own frantic need to save everyone he would have been lost in a whirlwind of doubt and loss. But someone had to help Spider-Girl. He already lost a fake sister and didn't want to lose the closest thing he had to a real one. April had gone right for him the instant Fury attacked May. Not that it surprised him, family reunions were usually violent affairs for him anyway. As she lunged for his head he remembers distantly thinking that the only ones who never struck him were his mother, Peters' wife and Mays' brother.

_Likely because they never met me_, came the dark reply to his inner musings. _Probably._

Darkdevil had kept her at bay for a while with a flame construct but his heart wasn't in it. Yes he knew for a fact that her symbiote nature would make her vulnerable to such an attack, likely worse than the damage Venom had suffered. He couldn't hurt her anymore than he could harm May. So yeah, he took her abuse. Taking a page outta the Spider-Girl playbook without realizing it Darkdevil tried to reason with her. The supposed danger posed by the collar didn't fool him. Darkdevil was never as woefully naive as May, he could see the conflict even before April let it slip that she had so much more in common with Fury than either of them.

Why didn't she see how much potential she had? Not once had Reilly entertained the possibility of the Parkers accepting him with open arms. No one could do that when he was a somewhat abnormal kid. They brought April-a stranger-into their lives. How could anyone reject an invitation of unconditional love? The closest he'd ever came was Kaine and the man never exactly put Reillys' welfare first.

April had struggled with two warring sides to her nature. A fight May could never hope to understand. He did, all too well. Vengeance was such a tempting avenue to pursue. As Darkdevil that battle was never easy. He had a line he refused to cross but he still indulged in doling out retribution. Part of him wanted to reach out to help someone else fight their inner demons. Another bigger part of him feared he'd fail. What did he know about setting a good example? If anyone would set the bar for April it would be Spider-Girl not him.

He couldn't even put up a decent fight when the gang war built up to the battle royale that ended in three deaths. The last time he saw April-Mayhem-she had causally walked away from impaling the Hobgoblin in front of them. Scowling at the memory Darkdevil settled down by the docks onto a pile of shipping crates. Crime had taken a holiday since the nonstop patrols the citys' heroes had taken since the deaths of the Punisher, Silverback and the Hobgoblin. All Darkdevil wanted was some clarity, something he couldn't find in a brawl, or in law documents. Kaine had tried to call him but he wasn't in the mood for one of his uncles' talks. He wanted to be left alone. Naturally fate would never be so kind.

"Hey, Hornhead! I've been looking all over for you!" With no tall buildings to shoot weblines from Spider-Girl was reduced to a series of flips to reach to top of the crates. Distantly he watched her progress thinking how much her agility had improved since her first days wearing the webs. It wasn't perfect, the timing was still a little off relaying more on flash than speed. At least her footing was stable. Finally reaching the top she ended with an elaborate backflip twist that almost slipped at the end. She tried to cover this up with tiny spring and like always he pretended not to care. "Might help if you had your phone on."

More direct than usual, no little quips to or lead ups. That couldn't be good. "Some would take that as a sign."

"Grumpy much? The team needs to keep in touch ya know." If he was in a better mood he might have laughed at the idea that either one of them were joiners much less teammates.

"I seem to recall telling the Warriors and you that I'm not a member. I'm not at their beck and call nor yours." Really he should just teleport out of there but he didn't feel like moving from the previously peaceful spot.

Spider-Girl shifted her weight to mimic his crouched position. When she finally spoke it was so quiet Darkdevil almost missed it. "I was worried about you."

Such a simple statement still unnerved him. She was the only person he ever met that was openly affectionate towards him even if by her standards this was nothing more than a polite courteously. It really shouldn't have touched him that she cared. Spider-Girl cared about everyone no matter how wretched they were. Reexamining the statement a second time he frowned. Why was she worried about him exactly? Any injuries he sustained from their last battle were long gone. They hadn't spoken to each other since the news of Aprils'...since her disappearance. Never one to stand for a long duration of silence Spider-Girl hastily went on.

"I-I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. After," she trailed off. Not that it mattered, they both knew who she was referring to. "I'm trying to do better. I've been talking to a lot of people and trying not to be so caught up in my own life."

Biting back the urge to snort he gave into the impulse to roll his eyes. She was the most selfless person he ever met and she still thought it wasn't good enough. Well if this helped her cope then he'd sit through another self-flagellation speech before chiming in with his own two cents. This was definitely the work of Parker guilt.

"I know I haven't been too observant," _No kidding. _"and I didn't bother too look to closely at other things. But I'm here now."

Finally turning his head to stare at her Darkdevil blinked. What did **THAT** mean? "And your big change is stating the obvious?"

There was no bite to his question just a curious prodding. Her position became more defensive. "I...I mean th-that I'm here to listen."

Giving up the presence of patience he let the long suffering sigh that had been building up since her arrive escape. "And that means what exactly?"

"If you wanna talk."

"Is there a point to this conversation or are you just spouting random words to pass the time?" Somehow he must have lost the change of topic because none of this made any sense. Shouldn't he be the one asking if she was okay?

Squaring her shoulders in the determined manner she took on before facing the toughest of foes she looked right at him. "I think you're too tough on crime and I don't want you to end up like April."

For a full minute all he could do was stare at her in shock. Confusion came next as Darkdevil couldn't see the connection. Then anger when he finally got it. April had aggression and believed that they should be harder on crime. May thought he was going to lose it like April. That he was going to become a murderer. Without a word of warning he leapt off the crates to prepare for a 'port. His face felt flushed and his body shook from his suppressed fury. So May wanted to take a page out of daddys' book to judge him, huh? Instead of trying to better herself by reaching out to her rogues' gallery or former killers like Kaine she decided to use him as a way to unburden her guilt.

"Darkdevil?" In normal circumstances the alarm in her voice would have stopped him in his tracks. Right then he didn't care.

"Listen up little girl because I'm only going to say this once! This is who I am. If you don't like it, tough! I'm not going to be your latest project or let you see fit to pass judgement on me! I would have hoped by now you'd see shades of grey better than your father! I've never taken a life and never intend to! But if you only want to see the worst in me go ahead! I have better things to do!" Without waiting for an explanation fire and brimstone surrounded him and he was back in his apartment. Fuming in the literal sense Reilly made a rash decision born out of hurt that he was sure to regret. If Spider-Girl only saw him as a potential disaster waiting to happen then he'd make sure to keep his distance from her.


	2. Anger

**Rider Paladin**: Reilly is used to anger. He doesn't know if April is really dead so it's not something he can really come to terms with on a intellectual level because he's used to working with facts. This fic is interesting to work on because Reillys' not just dealing with the loss of April he's dealing with things about himself that he never made peace with or other people don't understand. Thanks, I think May really does try to be there for people but she's not always the best at understanding where their coming from. Reillys' just not in a good place. These chapters might be different than you thought, lol.

Warning: For mentions of dead bodies and their parts.

**Anger  
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The day only got crappier as it went on. Mr. Nelson called in an emergency meeting between Normie, himself and Reilly a half an hour later. Still fuming and hurt from Mays' insistence that he needed help before he slaughtered people like Mayhem he acknowledged the pair with a nod. Caught in his own musings Normie missed his stormy mood but Mr. Nelsons' eyebrow quirked up. The man was better at catching things than people gave him credit for.

Busying himself with the screen Normie didn't see his step father leading Reilly to a seat at the conferance table nor the concerned glance. "How are you feeling? I know things have been stressful for you since you took on this internship-"

Reilly rubbed the bridge between his eyes, partly to sooth the tension there partly to hide his guilt. While Mr. Nobody being hired to kill him was common knowledge at the firm no one knew that the assassin had captured him as Darkdevil. That the real reason he had gone missing was that he was being tortured for days. After Spider-Girl had saved him it had been Kaine that had taken care of him. More than just taking care of the physical damage Kaine had done some clean up work to clear things up with his job. Some bull story about the intern getting injured in a mugging when they happened upon him.

Kaine had wanted to tie in the past assassination attempt to further set Nobody up but Reilly wouldn't allow the legal system to be twisted in such a way. They had argued on the fact that the man _had_ injured him but Reilly managed to convince Kaine that the story would never hold up in court. There were too many glaring holes that only brought more attention to him and his wounds would heal faster than a normal persons' would anyway. That was when the two formed a truce of sorts although their complex relationship still continued to be problematic. For whatever reason Mr. Nelson seemed to think the "mugging" was somehow linked to something else and that had to do with his connections to the law firm. Reilly hated lying. So much of his life had been spreading half truths. As Darkdevil it was easier to be vague and cryptic. As Reilly Tyne he should be honest (lawyer jokes aside.) It always made him feel guilty when he had to mislead people who were only trying to help him.

But would they really want to help him if they knew wha-who he was? He thought he knew but ever since Aprils' turn for the worse (and now Mays' sudden interest in his mental state) Reilly had been second guessing himself more often.

"It's nothing, sir." Just his sort of sister dying and his other kind of sister suggesting he'd become the sort of monster he fought against. Nothing serious, really.

Normie chose that moment to cut in, "Sorry for the delay but I wanted to get the whole message behind this meeting across. I may need to pursue legal action to keep a potential atrocity from taking place."

"How serious is this, Normie? Can't the Warriors get involved?"

"Given the nature of this situation I'd like to look into other options before I break the news to the Warriors, Dad. Some of them,"he winced and Reilly had an idea who he was thinking of, "won't take this news well. As such I wanted to keep this meeting between the three of us for now. What I say can't leave this room."

Mr. Nelson gave his assurances and Reilly followed, curiosity getting the better of him. Who knows, maybe a case would take his mind off of his current problems.

"Good because this has to do with one of the team. This," a click of his remote brought a familiar image onto the screen, "is Mayhem."

Or maybe not. Of course, why would things look up? The visual display played a recording of Mayhem destroying cars, changing with her symbiote powers into a sharper more monstrous form. Like always Reilly recalled the searing pain of Venoms' arm going through his chest. He took a slip from the provided glass of water to cover up his discomfort.

"Many don't know this but Mayhem is in fact the clone of Spider-Girl." Or the other way around as April frequently liked to remind people. "Although her whereabouts are currently unknown she's presumed dead."

The figure on the screen flipped over a car, her long tendrils extending to slash the metal in half and yank the driver out. Unconsciously Reillys' hand went to loosen his tie as his mind replayed the strangling sensation. Normally he adapted to things, able to shrug off all his near death experiences. For whatever reason symbiotes really disturbed him on a level he hadn't considered until facing April one on one. He had gotten over his discomfort enough to speak from the heart but he wondered if he would have ever felt comfortable around her if things were different. Reilly almost laughed bitterly at the thought, he could never tell the rest of the Parkers about himself much less ponder the what ifs.

Still...he would have liked to have known her better.

Normie had gone over the details he already knew although this was a much more edited version to protect the Parkers. Clicking the remote another video streamed of Fury the Goblin Queen. "I believe you've both been updated on Élan DeJunae."

"How does she fit in here? Last I heard she had no control over the gang war." He was certain she hadn't been involved during the events that led to the destructive end. She couldn't have escaped afterwards to seek revenge on the Parker family after the "Gwen Reilly" fiasco.

"She didn't. Élans' locked away but her legacy continued. Seemed that she had further plans in motion in regards to Spider-Girl." The grim look on Normie Obsorns' face filled Reilly with a sense of dread. Before he could start speculating a file was dropped open between Mr. Nelson and him. Even without photographic images of the evil deeds Reilly could feel his stomach turn at the brutal blow. Furys' vengeance was horrific, disturbing and inhuman. In the chair beside him Mr. Nelson gasped in shock and with a shaky hand fanned out the documents.

"My god," he breathed in stunned awe, "this is j-just so-so..."

"Sick." Reilly added in voice so disgusted and angry that he hardly recognized it. The papers were shipping print outs, invoices, a few scientific notes and Normies' scrawled explanation of what this all meant in laymans' terms. Not that he needed it to be spelled out to him. Living almost a year in Kaines' lab had made the notes easier to decrypt and his own detective work taught him all about these sleazy type of operations. Rage bubbled to the surface making his hands shake. The intensity fleetingly made him wonder if he was transforming in front of them. Not that he particular cared at the moment. Fury was going to pay for this one way or another.

"I don't understand, son. W-why would she leave a paper trail like this?"

"Because she wanted this to leak out. She wants Spider-Girl to suffer anyway she can. Élans' timing was better than she thought. What better way to get to her than to set up a clone chop shop to follow after Mayhem." He felt at odds with his own body. Half of him felt numb while the other half felt physically ill. Normie continued not even noticing the distress he was causing. "Only one lot was sold and I'm attempting to find all the buyer-but I need to figure out a way to shut this down for good while protecting Spider-Girl. Without her ever knowing about it if possible."

Mr. Nelson slumped back in his seat looking completely overwhelmed. "I'll see what we can do, Normie. But at this point I'm not sure if it will do any good. I'm not even sure if these, uh, these guys have legal rights."

"What are you saying?" The Osborn heir smacked his palms onto the surface of the table making his step father flinch. "Their human beings! Why can't you-?"

"The legal system has been slow with incorporating what defines human rights." Reilly distantly wondered how his tone could sound so detracted and monotone when he desperately wanted to break something. Must have been Matts' influence with pride in his education. "It took years to give mutants any rights and even those have shaky spots. Aliens and god-like being have a little leeway. But clones?" He released his white knuckle grip of the documents to take another sip of water. Vaguely amused that it didn't boil in his grip.

In the glass he saw his reflection or at the very least what passed as one to the rest of the world. It was just an illusion but it was supposed to have some truth in it. This was what his "true state" would have been if he grew up normally. Older than he currently was and pass the time he would have lived if Kaine hadn't changed his fate. Features to serve as the only reminder of a man he never knew. Would never know.

Placing the glass down Reilly tried to will the burning sensation in his eyes away.

"Clones aren't considered human. Their considered property, scientific means to an end that have no rights as they were manufactured. Although no case has formally disputed their humanity they are not citizens that will be protected against their owners until such a claim has been made." Finally meeting their eyes Reilly caught Normies' look and automatically replied, "Sharpe vs. Wacker. Tyler Bedard represented Professor Sharpes' rights to discipline subject Mackie 3.0 and officer Wacker was fined for interference."

That hadn't been a good week at the office. The only shining spot out of that outcome was Bedard taking over as Sharpes' lawyer had paid him enough to leave the firm. He never liked the guy anyway.

"What happened to Mackie?"

Reilly bit back the bitter sardonic laugh he was more accustomed to use in his Darkdevil guise. "That Mackie didn't last the trial. Last I heard Sharpe was up to 7."

They worked with little luck on how to proceed without putting Spider-Girl in a spot. Although legal rights and proof of humanity were iffy in the eyes of the law there were still areas they could exploit. The use of the black market and such. They could attempt to approach this like they would with a normal crime and go from there. Mr. Nelson said he had faith in their ability to roll with the punches. He wished he was that optimistic. In truth he had known that the only thing that could put his mind at ease was shutting down the operation himself. Fury might of let Normie get a hold of some of the proof but Reilly doubted he uncovered everything. At night he went about his usual route as Darkdevil more than ready to bust heads.

But he knew this needed a more subtle approach than his usual surefire method. Despite what many thought he could do subtle when need be. So he searched through the night barely keeping his simmering anger at bay. While he felt he was making progress his mind kept drifting off. To his father, to Kaine but for some reason April seemed to be the focus of these thoughts. It was odd that he couldn't seem to get her out of his mind since her "death." Darkdevil didn't know why he kept overanalyzing everything he knew about her. Wondering if he failed her, if May was right and April never did fit in with the Parkers. It wasn't like she was an innocent in the whole affair. April kept playing with fire, he saw it, Kaine saw it and even May seemed to have her doubts. When they were fighting she kept making threats on how she'd slash him apart like part of her saw the appeal in such a thing. Was it deeper than that? Had he seen more of himself in her than he'd like to admit? Was May right? Was he a cold blooded killer waiting to happen?

Fresh anger shook him out of such musings. He wasn't a killer. Maybe as Darkdevil he wasn't as friendly as the spiders but he never crossed the line into taking lives. No, he was Reilly Tyne, not Kaine and not Mayhem. And not _her_ either.

_"Watch out for ragin' red here!" One of boys in foster care shouted to the others. "His mommy's a stone cold killer!" The rest of the boys made "ooh" sounds laughing harder when his face flushed._

_"You don't know anything!"_

_"Uh oh! Better watch out! Mommas' boy's going to be a bloody little murderer too!"  
><em>  
>He hadn't known how much of it was true for some years, thinking (perhaps desperately so) that they were just being cruel. Because his mother couldn't really be what they said she was. It became easier to convince himself of this since some of the taunts the other kids threw at him were really petty. (To this day he still didn't know why they made such a big deal over his hair.) Once he discovered the whole story it was more understandable. Yes, sometimes he questioned the wisdom of believing a self-confessed murderers' words but Kaine never had reason to lie to him. Even so he didn't want to go down that path. Sometimes, okay a lot of times, it scared him to think of what he'd become. It was pretty much common knowledge that he was a freak even if most didn't know what the extent of it was. Well he could deal with that.<p>

He could roll with the punches life threw his way whether it was his genetics or twists of fate. Those were caused by others actions not his. But taking a life? That would be on him forever. That would really turn him into a monster. It frightened him to think he'd commit such an act even though vengeance was now part of him. That was the real reason it hurt to hear May say that she thought he was capable of going down that road. She could see him becoming a monster. If she could see the best in everyone else why couldn't she see it in him?

Knowing her the encounter likely didn't mean more than an intervention gone wrong. She wouldn't see it as a betrayal or simply proof that she really didn't have faith in him. And once he went down that path his mind was sure to nitpick other things that had nagged him. It shouldn't, he was fine with how things were before. Sure it wasn't perfect but nothing ever was. The vibration of the phone told him he had another call. Darkdevil hadn't answered any of them yet. Not just because he hadn't felt up to being social, he had been busy with piecing together the intel to locate the cloning center. That was the only way to stop production for good.

When the vibrations came back Darkdevil sighed and checked his missed calls. Apparently Spider-Girl had called not long after they parted. _Probably wanted to ask if I was under the influence_, he thought nastily,_ yeah I'm sure they have consoling for demonically possessed_. Going through the list he could feel his brow lifting in astonishment. She attempted to call three times, left two voice messages and two text. Curiosity stuck and as he was tempted to read the text (he wasn't sure he was ready to hear her voice yet) he noticed two other missed calls. One was from Urich. Wondering if this was important he called back and flipped through the latest invoice. Caught in the serial numbers he almost forgot why he called when Urich picked up.

"Darkdevil? Where were you? I was trying to reach you!"

"I was in the middle of a case. That tends to happen when you don't wait around for calls. Whatever it is make it fast, I'm busy." A smirk lit his face as he found a sloppy attempt to reroute the source to trace back the IP address. Looks like they weren't that careful at covering their tracks when they didn't know they were being investigated. He frowned. Was he really this good or just getting ahead of himself? Fury had intentionally let Normie know her plans before. Was the whole thing a set up? Possible but at this stage she was buried in whatever hole Weadon put her in without the ability to fine tune her henchmens' actions.

"Normie has a case he brought to us, he wanted to keep it under wraps but he's running out of options." For a moment Darkdevil wondered if he should cut to the chase. No, he'd play dumb to get Urich to run over this again while he did all the detective work. If he needed back up he'd let the Goblin know. By the time Urich was finished going over the same story Normie had told Mr. Nelson and him earlier Darkdevil was already leaping over the city again. Teleporting was faster but he was told it gave bad reception.

"Does anyone else know about this?" Given how determined Normie was about keeping May out of the loop he couldn't see all the Warriors being clued in. There was long paused that would only spell trouble. "I asked you a question, Goblin."

"May doesn't know. She's out with her mother and brother tonight. We don't want many people to know about this which would make it a little awkward with letting the Ladyhawks in on certain things. And the Buzz is...er..."

"An idiot that can't keep his mouth shut." Darkdevil supplied.

"Umm, more or less. Look, can you help or not?"

He let a pause of his own linger before letting him know he'd keep in touch. "Oh, and don't think I didn't notice that you never answered my question. I don't need an answer but for Spider-Girls' sake I hope whoever found out doesn't endanger this mission of yours."

Urich murmured, "I hope so too," before Darkdevil ended the conversation. The next call was from Kaine. His uncle was sure to call back in a half an hour (usually he was good about not interrupting his patrolling time.) If he didn't answer by then he ran the risk of getting a visit from the old man, something he wasn't in the mood for. Hitting the speed dial he stopped on a rooftop to check out his vantage point. He had to move uptown and likely five levels beneath the earth if he read the read outs right. Not that he would blindly teleport there. Looked like he might have to call Urich back so he wouldn't be walking in to something alone.

"What?" A harsh clearly annoyed voice answered.

"Hello to you too, Sunshine," he drawled. Crouching on the ledge Darkdevil watched the teens across the street go into a coffee shop.

"Oh, it's you." Instantly the guarded voice changed to a more mellow version of the gruffness. "You didn't answer my call."

"Funny because here I am calling you back to answer your call."

"You know what I meant." Kaine growled.

"And you know that I can't answer you when I'm busy. We've been over this." Darkdevil grit his teeth not wanting to get into the same argument over again.

"It's really not that hard to talk while you're working. You do it all the time without a headset."

"Yes, because I can fit one on with the helmet." Better to change the subject before this started fights over _that _issueagain. "If it makes you feel better you can tweet me later to let me know what coffee you had today."

"Tweet?" His uncle echoed. "Whatever kid. Just tell me what you're doing now."

"Just getting information in time to see Ms. Les is Moores' show. And I told you not to call me kid."

"What?" Kaine roared. It was too easy to bait him. Ever since Kaine heard about him visiting certain places for information that happened to have strip joints in them it had become a hot button. Which always struck him as amusing since Kaine never seemed to mind all the gory sights his nephew saw on a daily basis. Not even the crack houses he busted but this set the former killer on edge. "You're not funny kid. Now tell me what you're really doing."

"Working on a case with Urich." There wasn't any point in lying although he'd be sure to steer clear of revealing the whole story. Not unless he had to, he knew Kaine won't react well. In truth Darkdevil had no idea how he'd react when they finally reached the facility but he doubted Kaine would help things. "Why?"

"No real reason. Just wanted to...to see how things were." He received the second awkward pause of the night.

"...Right. Well I've got to meet Urich."

If he wasn't already distracted with thoughts of clones both dead and alive Darkdevil may of picked up on Urichs' worried tone when he called back. Perhaps he would have thought it was weird that he claimed they didn't need anymore back up when he relayed the location. If he had then he would have been able to piece together who else was in the know. "Parker?"

Peter Parker to be exact, looking about as pleased to see Darkdevil as he was to see the man. Dealing with the whole thing bothered him enough as it was but to add the man that hated his guts into the mix was a disaster waiting to happen. "He was with me when Normie came by and overheard the whole thing." The Green Goblin revealed with a defeated sigh. "He refused to let me leave without him and believe me I tried!"

"I have more right to be here than either of you." Peter grumbled, his eyes never leaving Darkdevils' form. "This has to do with my daughter."

"You're not in the webs anymore, Peter! We've been over this-several times! You have to trust us sometime!"

"Not with this, Phil. Not when it comes this close to home."

"Maybe that's why you shouldn't do this." He knew Peter would only disagree with him, still it was worth a shot. "You're too close to the case."

The former web swinger snorted, "And you're always too close to my family, Darkdevil. I'm a professional and will always act like one in the field."

Green Goblin muttered something under his breath that neither hero caught. Too worked up from everything Darkdevil felt a little bolder than usual when he added his two cents.

"Really? Because I seem to recall you losing your cool last time the subjects of clones and your daughter came up." Somewhere off to the side the green heros' breath caught. Brown eyes narrowed to fine points and that well known look of keen dislike came through like fine pointed daggers ready to hit their mark.

"Let's get something straight, Darkdevil. I don't care how much you think you know about my family. You know nothing about them or me!" The wooden cane shook in his general direction springing out at the last second only to stop a hairs' bead from the demonic figure. Darkdevil didn't flinch, they held each others' gaze for a moment before the Green Goblin cleared his throat.

"Guys? The mission?"

"The opening should be nearby." Without another word the trio began their search. After a few moments of fruitless (in Peters' cause desperate) searching Peter found the secret passageway. For an instant a sort of vindictive pride lit his eyes that he had found it instead of the man he hated. Darkdevil didn't care (much) his main concern was what awaited them when they arrived. The further along they got the more unsettled Peter got until his frustration with their speed finally got him to snap.

"We've been traveling for hours! This tunnel has to go on for miles!"

"I'm going as fast as I can Peter! The glider won't be able to make any sharp turns in time if I go faster!"

He could see that the Goblins' attempts to keep his friend calm were starting to unravel. For his part he had tried to keep his answers as brief as possible in able to endure this trip. Funny that he'd rather have another conversation with Kaine than be on a trip with this "Uncle." Suddenly Peter leapt off the glider much to his friends' alarm. "Teleport us ahead!"

The demand made Darkdevil do a double take. "You can't be serious."

"We need to speed this up! Teleport us ahead now!"

"You honestly think it's a good idea to randomly teleport ahead in a place none of us have been before?" A little of his sarcasm slipped into his tone for the sheer stupidity of that request.

"Too much for you powers to take?" Came the challenging reply.

"I'm not going to risk getting us all killed because you're getting impatient." Not waiting for the next insult he went along ahead ignoring the yells that followed. After a few minutes the gliders' engine hummed on again but he was already too far away to hear their conversation. It took another hour to finally reach the process center. As the one taking point Darkdevil saw it first, a place that reminded him a little of the lab Kaine brought him to when he was sick. Except it was sleeker, more refined. A dozen rows of tubes lined the main room with the computers lining the walls. In an overwhelmed daze he found himself draw to the tubes instead of the information wells. To think that a place like this was where his father was born...

Most of the tubes were empty awaiting production but a few were filled with what was left of the clones being produced. Through the fogged up glass he could see his fathers' face staring out, sight as well as life long gone from his eyes. All of them were dead, a few of them were heroes he knew but most were Parkers. Most were family. Whatever rage or sorrow he felt was momentary forgotten when the Green Goblin shouted down to them.

"Looks like they haven't gotten too far along." He sounded like he was barely keeping himself together with the horror surrounding them. "The...umm, parts sold belonged to the Avenger c-"

"Let me see!" Peter took over the console typing furiously. "Fury didn't have any full functioning clones released. Guess she found Mayhem to be a handful."

"Uh yeah. Listen Pete, we haven't come across any resistance here. I know you told about when you and Ben-"

"Damn it. It's the same damn place! When will this madness ever end!" Metal screeched it's protest as Peter broke off the bolted chair, tossing it across the room. It just missed hitting the machines.

"Hey calm down, it's okay. " The friendly clasp was roughly shaken off as the bearded man hurried about the platform.

"No it's not okay, Phil! These ridiculous mind games keep going on! No matter how many years go by I'm still haunted by these idiotic clones! I'm sick of it! I'm not going to let them overrun my life again! I'm not going to let them ruin Mays' life!"

A level down Darkdevil bristled at the words and as if the deceased figure in the tube could hear it slumped inside it's casing. "If you can get over yourself for a moment you'd see that this affects more than your family, Parker! Not just the others she cloned, but these poor souls she created to be butchered! And if you don't care about them then think of those people that bought her "goods." If she used Professor Warrens' guidelines they might have clone degeneration. More lives will be lost!"

"My god he's right." Returning to the computer the Green Goblin inserted the portable flashdrive. "We can upload all of this and get Normie to help us. We'll need more help to get this all sorted out."

"No. This goes no further than the three of us."

"Peter be reasonable! We may be good at shifting through this data but it will still take time. We'll need more people to shut this down if it does end up being a bigger force than we anticipated."

Peter Parker seemed to go bye bye in an instant and the same raving madman that had attacked Kaine came back. The man was a dangerous powder keg waiting to go off. "No! I'm not doing this again!"

The force behind his swiping arm could have knocked out the Rhino. Darkdevil saw it coming an instant before Peter made the move, teleporting fast enough to drag the Goblin out of harms way. Grabbing the offending arm he had to ask, "That is wrong with you?"

"Wrong with me?" His voice was rich with irony. "I told you, I'm sick of my life being twisted like this! I'm sick of my family getting dragged through this! And I'm sick of you!"

The full strength behind the punch threw him back. Distantly he was aware of the Green Goblin hurrying about trying to protect the information. Yelling for his friend to stop acting crazy to no avail. Trying to regain his footing Darkdevil attempted to block the oncoming onslaught with little success. If he wanted to stop this man he'd have to fight back. Something he always tried to avoid. "I know this is going to sound hypercritical coming from me but in this case fighting each other isn't the answer!"

"And you know all the answers, don't you Darkdevil?" The uppercut skimmed his jaw, Peter tried to press his advantage. "You know who we are, our history, you just so happen to be buddies with my old sparring partner Kaine!"

"Buddies is really stretching it." Darkdevil mainly kept his attacks to keeping the other man off balance. For the most part it worked-until Peter started using the walls and his agility.

"Just what do we know about you? You're a poser trying to get street cred off of a true hero! You're one step away from becoming a murdering psycho! I'm right, aren't I?"

"Yep," he brought his foot up into the older mans' stomach, throwing him back and successfully knocking the wind out of him. "You're right...you know nothing about me. I have my reasons for basing my image on Daredevil but their mine alone."

With Peter staring at him like that he could see what Norman Osborn meant. The man really did hate the sight of him. "You have no respect for the dead!"

The growing fury started to uncoil and Darkdevil felt himself shaking with the need to knock that smug superiority off of Parkers' face. For too long he had to endure insults and physical blows from this man. Well he promised himself that he'd never be one uncles' punching bag again so why should he allow history to repeat it's self with another? Much to all presents' alarm he found himself laughing at the taunt.

"Oh this** IS** rich coming from you. The man who neglected the spitting image of his daughter and causally disregards her sacrificing her life for the same kid." Narrowing his eyes he looked over the man who was supposed to be a great hero. The one that repeatedly fell short of his expectations before delivering the words he had been itching to say since April was discovered. "You disgrace Ben Reillys' memory."

For a moment time froze and something seemed to break inside Peter Parker. A flicker of emotions he'd later assume he'd imagined crossed the other mans' face. It only lasted mere seconds before the rage took hold again and the two were fighting in earnest. In a way neither of them fought before. Darkdevil was tired of futilely trying to get this mans' approval, of pretending he'd ever truly be accepted into the Parkers' lives. All his frustration finally found the right outlet as he fought on. At first it was difficult to tell who would win. Darkdevil was younger, skilled and in shape. Although Peter Parker was the opposite end of the spectrum he had experience and his own righteous anger to fuel him on. They looked like equals fighting without their usual tricks of webs and flames.

It became more apparent that despite the strength of his emotions Peter Parker didn't have the same power behind his movements. Not holding back for once Darkdevil was allowed to let his skill speak for it's self. Peter couldn't keep up the speed nor power he was facing. When he did collapse onto the floor Peter seemed stunned, like he truly didn't think the devil themed hero could defeat him. If he wasn't feeling on edge at the moment it would have surprised Darkdevil too.

"This is why I don't open up to any of you, Parker. All you see is your own slanted view stubbornly refusing to see anything else. I let you get away with it before because I had the mistaken impression that you were a good man that just missed his friend. But it's more than that, isn't it? It's not just me. You treat anything you don't understand-no, what you refuse to understand-as beneath your notice. Maybe you have your reasons, I just don't particularly care what they are right now. I want you to know that I'm done letting you take your grief out on me. If you hit me, I'll hit back."

Without waiting for a reply he teleported back to his apartment tossing his helmet off. For once he didn't want to switch back to Reilly Tyne, too worried with what he'd see in his own reflection.


	3. Bargaining

**Rider Paladin: Thanks! Darkdevil might know that May didn't mean it like it came off but it's still a sore point. I think it did feel like Peter didn't care, at least as far as April was concerned. She always seemed frustrated with him. This chapter is much shorter than last chapter.**

**Bargaining**

Darkdevil hadn't waited for Normie to brief him on all the details of Parker and Urichs' discoveries. Most of the investigation had been done thanks to his own efforts and all that was left was the clean up. He never stayed around for that in the best of times and there was certainly no reason to linger. As far as he was concerned the less time he spent around the Parkers and their friends the better. He never belonged there in the first place, all he did was get himself worked up by tormenting himself like this. Lack of focus made him take to leaping over the rooftops instead of teleporting. It shouldn't have been such a shock to see Kaine waiting for him but he'd completely forgotten the man when he mentally listed the people he should avoid. Maybe because Kaine was the one family member that he'd never truly lose no matter how bad things got. A mixed blessing he supposed, not that he couldn't (and hadn't) taken care of himself without the other man.

"When you didn't call me back I got curious. I remembered what you said about helping Urich and poked around until Osborn spilled. Not that it mattered, I got the whole story from Urich and Parker once they showed up." A fierceness that usually showed up around May lit Kaines' eyes. Darkdevil usually saw guilt reflected when it was just the two of them. He didn't know what to do with this futile protectiveness, it never went well for him when Kaine tried to help. And he was so unaccustomed to having anyone reach out that he wasn't sure what the proper response was anyway. Seeing Darkdevils' shoulder slouch Kaines' voice softened, "Are...Are you alright?"

He didn't know how to answer that one not just because he was clueless of what most people considered "alright." Physically he was fine, the hits Parker landed bruised but he'd been through worse. Actually he probably hurt Parker more now that he thought about it. Guilt crept up like it always did when he reconsidered his meetings with the Parkers. He hated Parker guilt. Emotionally he felt...he didn't know how to describe it. Aprils' death was still on his mind and he felt awful about the whole thing. Not knowing her, losing someone he could have saved...he supposed most of it was regret and loss when it came to her. With May, well it felt like she confirmed all his fears with just a few words. If she hadn't then Parker certainly drove that point home.

So he was basically a mess of emotions with no idea how to find an outlet for it all. Kaine and him weren't at a stage where they could talk through their own issues much less their family. Darkdevil needed a way out of all of this, something that could make it easier than bottling everything up all the time. In response to Kaines' question he shrugged.

"You could have told me what you and Urich were checking out." The reprimand wasn't harsh but Darkdevil thought he could tell what they other man was thinking.

"They wanted to keep this on the down low." It was an excuse and they both knew it. "Think it might have made them wonder why I'd tell you considering the link to the Parkers." Kaine frowned but didn't challenge it for once. Perhaps he saw how troubled Darkdevil was, maybe he knew neither of them was up for such a conversation.

As usual they parted with more left unsaid than either was comfortable with. Maybe he was looking at this the wrong way. He needed to get in control over his emotions thus he needed to mediate. The surefire treatment for most of his problems after the bonding occurred. The difficulty with doing this now lied in his own emotional state and the balance of the spirits time sharing in his body. They affected him-sorta-it was hard to explain. The balance allowed him to be in control of his body and access the powers from the vengeance demon. But at a price. Mediation kept his demon visage and powers at bay, when he wasn't Reilly Tyne the demon part of him made him feel more detached. Although he didn't think he'd lose much sleep over breaking a rapist leg without Zarathos' influence he felt more removed from caring about the guilty-to an extent. On the flip side emotions seemed so much more overwhelming when anger sparked the need for vengeance especially when someone he cared about suffered. He retained enough control over himself to keep such impulses at bay, for the most part.

His bond with Matt was vastly different. Where Zarathos was cold wrath Matt was warm reassurance. They could only "speak" with each other through great effort or in dreams but he's always been able to sense him on some level. The steady presence in his life, the one constant thing he could depend on. Reilly frowned, he didn't like to think how sad it was that the only person he could rely on was a ghost.

Stretching his senses out Reilly tried to center himself properly. Should be fairly simple task given all his practice. It wasn't. All he could think of was Parkers' hatred, Mays' distrust and the girl no one ever really accepted.

_**"Blood calls for blood boy! Release me and vengeance shall reign!"**_

_If he could hear Zarathos without Matt then his mood really must have put him off center. Not like Venom had but enough to keep his friend and mentor from interfering. Reilly, as always pulled away from such an offer yet something made him hesitate from cutting the connection completely. Sensing this Zarathos form beckoned him closer._

**"You know what I say is true. You will be mightier if you accepted me fully. Perhaps..." **A honey toned quality entered that dreaded voice. **"...Perhaps I could restore your kin for such a small favor."**

The images of Reillys' mindscape changed from the cruel city streets to the Parker household. Peter stood protectively in front of his wife and son. May was at his side looking united against a force both webswingers had to bring down-April. The girl was maskless, dressed in the same costume she had worn when she killed the Hobgoblin. Tears slid down her face as Peter glared and her mirror image sadly shook her head.

_"You don't belong here, April. You never did."_

_"Neither does he." Peter added pointing his glare directly at Reillys' form. May nodded._

_"I know. Their too much alike."_

_"Why can't we have a normal family instead of all these freaks turning up?" With one last glower Peter led his family in the house leaving April and Reilly outside. The unmistakable clicks of the locks being secured into place seconds after the door slammed shut was the last nail in the coffin called hope._

_April turned blue eyes towards him, silently pleading for him not to go away too. "No one ever tried to give me a chance. You know what that's like...don't you?" A desperation crept in, Reilly held up a hand to get her try to calm her down. She didn't wait for his answer. "You said I had a family! They were never there for me! Why weren't you? Please!" A sob broke out as April clung to him. The tiniest of whisper, almost like a sigh of defeat escaped her "Please save me", and more than anything he wished he could. That things could really be that simple._

_His face hardened, "Never. I'll never let you."_

_As much as this scene hurt him it wasn't real. None of it was, just a cruel illusion to mess with his head and play on his insecurities. "April" smirked, "Hey can't blame a girl for trying. But admit it: you want to save the girl. Not just because it's the right thing to do. You want escape as much as I do just not the same way."_

_Straightening up she walked up the sidewalk gesturing to the house. "This place represents your ultimate desire, right? To be part of this family? To finally belong?" The figure of the girl laughed and flames encompassed the structure. "You know it's never going to happen. Part of you has always known it. Their never accept you anymore than they accepted her."_

_Reilly turned away from the sight refusing to let the demons' taunts hurt him anymore. The scenery changed to the laboratory Kaine brought him to when his illness took hold. The creature in Aprils' guise smiled, patting the tube fondly. "You may of had it easier than Kaine and her. You were only half the freak then with your fathers' blood poisoning you. Regardless of what occurred later, do you honestly believe they would have accepted you even then?"_

_Taking his silence for an answer "April" went on with a little flair. "No, they won't have. Men like Peter Parker like to talk big on what's right but even they have their limits. They can't tolerate creatures like Kaine or unexpected complications like you. For all his boasting of responsibility the man is all too willing to turn his back on his own flesh and blood. Simply because he doesn't see any of you as anything more than lab experiments gone wrong and disasters waiting to happen. Tell me I'm wrong."_

_Squaring his shoulders Reilly turned his back on his tormentor. "In your heart of hearts you know I'm right. Even the one living being that accepted you as you are turned his back on you. Kaine sees you for the mistake you are. He would have come around to accepting the girl given time. Would you selfishly rob her of that chance?"_

The pause was longer than he would have liked. The laugh taunted Reilly as he forced himself out of the connection but he still caught the part shot before it was completely cut.

**_"A hero indeed!"_**


	4. Depression

**Rider Paladin :** Thanks! Zarathos came to mind as soon as I thought about this chapter and their relationship is definitely a curious one. Trust me I wouldn't use the term "seduce" with Reilly and his family. But I see him as wishing he was there for April. His interactions with her and the events surrounding her were interesting because he seemed to be nicer than he's been with May, more understanding but still seeing things May didn't. Like he knew what was going on but wasn't sure if he should involve himself. I think Peters' reaction to the whole clone thing in Spider-Girl is fascinating. He talks about Ben like a hero but lies and avoids telling May that he was a clone. He freaks out with Kaine and is somewhat cold to April. There's a sense that they were really building something there but never got to fully explore it.

**A/N:** Just letting you know that this chapter might seem a little different than the others because of how I wrote Reilly reacting. I didn't want to make it melodramatic (I think I did that last chapter :P ) and felt that Reilly was pretty depressed throughout this whole fic. And well, he sort of slips into the stages in other chapters so this might not be what's expected.

**Depression**

Thanks to the demon inside of him things were looking worse for Reilly. Self loathing wasn't something he liked to wallow in but it couldn't be helped. Everywhere he looked there seemed to be something to remind him of his failures. At work Normie showed up to update them on the clone situation. The buyers had been found, happily the case (if one could even be made out of this mess) was given to one of Mr. Nelsons' higher ups which meant Reilly didn't have to deal with it anymore. But that didn't stop Normie from going on about it for two hours. Maybe it was the guilt from hitting Parker that gave him the strength he needed to restrain himself. As much as he wanted to excuse himself for the day Normie refused to take a hint and suggested that the three of them have lunch at his moms' favorite place. Mr. Nelson liked that idea claiming Reilly would love the place. It wasn't what he expected.

It wasn't the sort of glamorous five star restaurant that left the kid that used to sleep on the street gaping in amazement. Liz Osborn apparently preferred the simpler things in life as it was just a coffee shop. "Mom used to come here with dad, Uncle Pete and Auntie M all the time." Normie informed gesturing to a corner booth. "I always thought it was funny that none of them were together at the time."

From what Kaine had told him Reilly could piece bits and pieces of that past. It always struck him odd to try to picture Peter Parker as a kid when he was sort of his father. Reilly wouldn't exist without the other man because Ben Reilly wouldn't have been created without him. Now "Uncle Pete" had a demonic nephew of his clone and would likely hate him more if he knew. Sometimes he liked to imagine what his life would be like if they knew. But Zarathos was right about one thing: he'd never be accepted. Any hope of that died with April. If Peter couldn't accept the clone of his daughter than what chance did he have?

They ordered sandwiches as step-father and son discussed all the memories this place held for their lost loved one. He had to wonder if it was really worth all the heartache to let someone into your life. It had never worked out for him and he hardly needed anymore complications. Once he had thought that May would be welcoming even if she needed time to adjust to the idea. But maybe he had just been fooling himself. The girl that protected killers and believed in redemption thought there was a possibility that he was a murderer waiting to happen. If that didn't make him feel low enough Parker had to rub in how much he was loathed. Not that he even considered himself a lovable person. No, he'd never make that mistake. He just wanted to have a chance and he realized he never even had that. Hadn't life beaten that into him enough? He guessed he was a slow learner.

"Hey Uncle Pete, we were just talking about you!" Normie calls out from the booth forcing Reilly to turn from his spot in line.

Reilly was so lost in his own musings that he hadn't noticed the Parkers arriving. He's not ready for this, not by a longshot. The family all gather around the booth to exchange pleasantries and he hopes to god they don't notice him. But he's not the center of attention right then. "Parker! What happened to your face!" The horror in Mr. Nelsons' voice has him glancing over before he can help himself. He wishes he didn't.

Peters' left cheek was bruised, the skin an livid purple. The sight of it made his stomach churn as guilt ate at him again. Peter's voice had a fake cheer to it. "Oh this? Let's just say some punk had something to prove. He proved something alright."

Still in line for his refill Reilly watched the proceedings from the reflective glass case. Mrs. Parker apparently heard this conversation too often and started to walk over to the only empty table on the other side of the coffee shop. As she passed her attention seemed drawn to Reilly as she lingered behind him, almost like she wanted to say something. He tensed not knowing what had caught her interest. They had never met in any of his personas though they had seen each other at a distance a handful of times. Nothing that could connect his two identities together. He saw her bite her lip before May said she'd get the coffee if her mom would secure a table.

Although Mrs. Parker did as she was asked she kept staring at Reilly much to his discomfort. He had pretended that he hadn't notice and she didn't seem to know that he was aware of her. As if he wasn't uncomfortable enough as it was. When Mr. Nelson went to the restroom he heard the conversation pick up.

"D-did he really do that dad?" Was that fear in her voice? Reilly felt ashamed of himself, not just for his actions but for letting May down. But it wasn't like he tried to set an example. He told her that he wasn't the type of hero she wanted him to be. "I mean I know he's a little-"

"_A little_? May the man has no discipline, no sense of honor. That disgrace is a disaster waiting to happen!"

"Come on Uncle Pete, even you gotta admit that you're never at your calmest when it comes to him or the, er, duplicate thing." The last part of the statement drew Mays' curious glance and making it obvious that her father hadn't informed her of the clone connection they had recently looked into. Normie ignored the way Peter glared at him to chew on a cinnamon roll. "Besides the way I heard it he saved Phill from getting deck by you."

Mays' eyes were almost comedically wide. "Dad! How could you!"

"I might-might have gotten a little out of control!" The former superhero grumbled. "But you can see the evidence of HIS actions on yours truly! He took it too far!"

"Phill seems to think differently. He says you kept pushing the devils' buttons throughout the entire thing. Not that we have to take either of your word for it. We can just watch the footage."

Peter sat up straighter in his seat at that. "What footage? None of the cameras at the lab were turned on when we were there."

Too busy slipping his coffee Normie nodded before swallowing his drink. "Phills',um, ride was hooked up with one. We use it to see how he can improve. It's always on once he takes off. We can just replay it to see how it went down."

"Fine! Then you'll see how crazy he was!"

"I guess we will." May commented as she started to walk toward the table her mother selected.

"Not you May." Her father corrected successfully stopping her in her tracks.

"But you just said-"

"I don't want to see it and if I had my way you wouldn't even be exposed to that monster in the first place!"

Reilly was soon distracted by getting to the head of the line. He thought about what May would say if she ever got the chance to see the footage for herself. He was starting to second guess himself on the matter. Why couldn't he have kept his anger in check? Had Parker hit too close to the mark? Not feeling up to being social he lingered away from the table until Mr. Nelson came out and made his excuses for leaving. On the way out he spotted May staring gloomily into her coffee. Kaine once said he was like a mentor to her but Reilly didn't think so. Mentors knew what they were doing. They were people their "students" turned to for help or advice. The "Gwen Reilly" case was the last time she asked for any assistance and he didn't think he provided anything important. She never asked his opinion or needed him like she used to.

May had the whole superhero community willing to provide their aid. Heroes with more spotless records that Parker would approve of. Spider-Girl didn't need him anymore and seemed to think she surpassed him. Even if those ties weren't completely severed they would be after she saw the tape. May would never forgive him for harming her father, for losing control. This more than confirmed her claims.

He wondered if things would be different if he had tried to help April like he helped May. Would she be better off or would his efforts only have made matters worse? No one had wanted to take the time to be there for her, to put her first. Reilly knew only too well what that was like, if Matt hadn't been there for him then he would have been a total monster in the literal sense. A pawn in someone elses' scheme, a means to an end. Just like April. Just like Kaine and his father.

Arriving home he went quickly changed out of his work clothes into some sweats only pausing when he caught his reflection in the mirror. He let his image slip into his demonic form and studied himself. April might not of escaped her past but he'd be foolish to assume he had. All he did was hid it with a lie. Sometimes that's all he could do. Reilly lied about his past and pretended he was a normal student. He never told the Parkers who he was because he knew what they wouldn't accept the truth. Reilly himself had never taken the time to accept himself, to really understand what the whole clone thing meant to him.

When his phone rang he knew who it was before picking up and almost smiled when he was the identity was confirmed. Of course it would be Kaine of all people that called him. "Hey kid. I know you're not in the mood to talk but we need to meet."

The familiar conflicting emotions that always made an appearance where Kaine was concerned reared their head again. Reilly frowned, Kaine was right he didn't feel like doing this. "Where do you want to meet?"

But maybe it was time he started to make more of an effort.


	5. Acceptance

**Aklli-chan:** _Thank you! Yeah the most frustrating thing was the lack of closure to the Darkdevil/Parker plot. One of the things that was played with a little was how Reilly presents himself as Darkdevil, he doesn't want to show weakness but some of his unease slips out from time to time. I liked playing with the idea of how he projects himself vs. how he feels. Well the MJ thing was more or less her continued confusion over a guy looking like her husband. She knows something is up just not what._

**Acceptance**

Darkdevil wants to raise an eyebrow at Kaine of all people offering him drink but knows the impact will be lost with his helmet on. He takes it with a mumbled thanks but makes no move to drink it yet. It's from another coffee place (thankfully not the Coffee Bean although the image of Kaine walking in there is amusing.) His uncle shuffles around uncertainly and he finally takes a slip for lack of anything better to do. It wasn't coffee but hot chocolate. That makes him smile for the most absurd reason. Like Kaine didn't think he was old enough to be drinking coffee or the idea that it was a comfort drink. Well he supposes that he should make this slightly easier on the man otherwise they'd be there freezing on a rooftop all night.

"You wanted to talk?"

"Yeah." With his long hair tied back there's no escaping the scars on the mans' face. Or those eyes that Parker, his father and he (in his real form) shared. Darkdevil wants to look away after hearing Parker talk about him, he can't stand those eyes. No matter who looks at him with them there's always uneasiness. Now there's sorrow and regret. "I thought you would want to know that I ran into her not too long ago."

No clarification was needed but Darkdevil refused to reply waiting to hear the rest even though dread was forming in the pit of his stomach. "Heard that there was a tape of what went down between you and Parker."

The tone turned harsh at the end making him wish for the billionth time that his family life was somewhat normal. Apparently the clone side (and it made him wince to think in those terms) wasn't supposed to mix with the normal family. He took another slip just have the warmth chase away the coldness. Kaine leaned against the wall next to him. "What of it?"

"Oh you knew about that did you?" The older man grunted. "She was furious that they saw it without her. Naturally she found a way to see it for herself."

"Naturally." He could feel his heart racing, almost hear the taunting laugh of the demon and knew this could be it. This could be the moment he always feared was coming with May finally coming around to her fathers' way of thinking. Maybe he had made the right choice by ignoring her lately, it would make the transition slightly easier. At least that was what he was going to tell himself.

"She wants to see you, says she tried to call you but you never answer." The look plainly said Kaine wanted to hear the whole story but wasn't going ask. "Before you ask: no she didn't say how she felt about the tape. Just thought you wanted a heads up. You can't avoid her forever."

Well he could teleport away but he supposed the Parker luck would still catch up to him whether he used the surname or not. "I know."

"Are you...doing better?" While they never went into the details in their previous talks Kaine wasn't stupid enough not to notice the telltale signs that his nephew was bothered by something. Darkdevil sighed.

"I guess." He felt more tired than anything else. Tired of all the confusion in his life and the way his family was. The idea of him ever joining it seemed impossible. His father and April were briefly part of the Parkers' lives and it had ended badly for all involved. It seemed like the best option was to stay out, to linger in the shadows until they were needed.

Finishing off his drink Darkdevil rubbed around his mouth to wipe away any lingering residue. The last thing he needed was to fight crime with a chocolate mustache. Kaine hesitated before asking, "Do you want to talk?"

"Not really. I have a feeling I'm going to get my fill of it when I finally talk to May." That and the fact Darkdevil was fairly certain he knew what Kaine would say if he admitted to grieving for April. He didn't want to hear Kaine say it was inevitable anymore than he wanted to be there when Parker dismissively talked about her. "Might as well get this over with. Thanks for the warning."

Kaine smiled. "Anytime kid."

"I told you to stop calling me that."

The taller man shrugged. "Yeah well I told you to stop doing a lot of things and you still do them."

Darkdevil tossed his empty container into the trash can below. It fell in without any bystanders noticing. "Yeah but I'm young and less experienced. You're old and worn out, you should know better."

Kaine dropped his own container in. "Cute. How did you end up with such a smart mouth?"

The devil themed hero smirked,"What can I say, it's in genes." He mocked saluted his uncle before teleporting across town where he knew Spider-Girl patrolled. It didn't take long to find her in the middle of a fight with five superpowered thugs. One of which was webbed up before he could fully take in the scene. He observed her movements noting the improvement but still seeing too many little mistakes that if exploited could have cost her dearly. One of them did as she was snatched by the muscle of the group in an unbreakable bear hug as his teammate took aim. Seeing that she was stuck he tossed a billy club at the brute as he knocked out the would be shooter from behind. She took care of the rest.

After the last one was webbed up she turned but seemed at a lost for words now that Darkdevil was in front of her. "I heard you were looking for me. Something on your mind?"

That was all that was needed to get her worked up. "Oh please, you knew I was trying to get a hold of you! I tried to call you a dozen times! Don't act like you didn't know!"

"Excuse me for not dropping everything just because you called. I'm here now but if you're not up to this then I'll just get back to what I was doing." He knew how he sounded but it was in his nature to get defensive when he was getting yelled at like this.

Spider-Girls' hand shot out, "Wait! Don't go! Can we do this..." She pointed upward. With a sigh he followed her up to the roof more than ready to get this over with. "You talked with Kaine?"

At his nod she continued, "Then you know what this is about. Look I'm going to be upfront and let you know that this whole thing is getting to me. I know my dad wanted to keep this clone thing from me and I'm pretty mad at being kept out of the loop again. Not that I expected you to tell me since I'm positive you were trying to avoid me but it hurt all the same. Uncle Phil, Dad, Normie and me already had a talk. Dad's admitted that he might have overreacted but he's still claiming that it's your fault. Normie and Uncle Phil are on your side. I've been looking at the footage for hours. I saw how you tried to keep your cool when dad kept getting on your case."

Just how far back did she go into the footage? That sounded like them traveling to the lab as he hadn't kept his cool for too long once they arrived.

"Seeing you fighting with dad...I'd be lying if I said I was comfortable with the sight."

"Right. Next time I'll remember to let him pummel me." He folded his arms looking more at ease than he felt.

Spider-Girl made a frustrated noise. "Are you listening to me? I saw what happened! I know dad always gets on your case and I know that you try not to let it get out of hand! That doesn't mean that I have to like seeing you two fight! It got out of control, yeah he took it there but you did hurt him."

"Yeah and he hurt me and doesn't seem to care. What do you expect me to say? Did I want it to go there? No. But it did. I'd say I was sorry but what's the point? If he sees me again he'll just act the same. All I can do is steer clear of him so this doesn't happen again."

"I know but this is so frustrating! Why can't guys be mature enough to just shake hands and stop fighting?" Seeing her like this almost made him smile.

"Huh, that was rather sexist of you. I suppose it's different for you. It's not like you ever fought with Raptor once she reformed because of a misunderstanding. Oh wait." Next to him Spider-Girl fidgeted.

"Okay point taken. But that was resolved. Why doesn't my dad like you? I never saw him like this with anyone besides maybe Kaine." He wondered if she would have liked the irony of this situation. Despite his own feelings on the matter he found it faintly amusing. That was just something that she inspired, he had forgotten that.

"You know why. He thinks I'm abusing the name of his friend. He doesn't like my methods either hence he doesn't like me." The underlining message of Spider-Girl not approving of his methods either wasn't said. It didn't need to be.

"I care about you, Darkdevil. I guess I wasn't as clear as I could have been and that caused another misunderstanding. I know you'd never hurt me or take a life. I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings." She reached out for his shoulder but her hand hovered as if she wasn't certain if he'd accept causal friendly touches.

What was he supposed to say to that? Perhaps it was time for a little of the truth. "Let's just say I wasn't in the best of places either."

"D-do...do you want to talk about it? Or-nevermind." Spider-Girl withdrew her hand. They lingered at each others' side wanting to say more but not knowing how to seamlessly make small talk. But Spider-Girl was the curious sort so it was only a matter of time before she surprised him. "I don't know if you'd tell me if I asked but I have a feeling my dad won't. And I'm getting sick of being lied to or kept in the dark. On the footage you and Uncle Phil both mentioned my uncle Ben. What does he have to do with this cloning thing? Is there something else I'm missing out on?"

"I-it's not my place to tell you things like that." The girl let out a loud groan no doubt ready to go into another argument. If Peter Parker didn't want to tell her the truth he couldn't press it. But maybe he could lead her in the right direction. "But if you want to know a good place to start would be a photo."

Her head swung around sharply. "A photo? What does that have to do with anything?"

"Have you ever seen a photo of Ben Reilly?" If she connected the dots on her own then it could be a huge game changer.

Spider-Girl scratched her head. "Umm, yeah when I was little. We have some albums in storage somewhere. What does that have to do with anything?"

"Look at his picture. Really study it and you'll have your answers."

Neither moved as Spider-Girl stared at him like she never saw him before. Out of all of her allies in the superhero community he was the one she knew the least about. Darkdevil was aware of that, he knew she had gotten others to open up but with him? All she knew was that he was a demon with a vaguely defined connection to Kaine. "Er, okay. I'll be seeing you around, I guess."

As she awkwardly turned to shoot out a webline Darkdevil thought of something he could offer. "I am sorry to hear about April."

"...Thank you. She's been on my mind a lot lately." Idly toying with her webshooter she laughed. "This was kind of fun. We should do this again."

"Bicker? I got a feeling it wouldn't be the last time." Not waiting for a reply he teleported home more than ready for some sleep. His life wasn't perfect but he felt a little more at peace with it if only for a moment.

He didn't know if he could ever fully accept the idea that someone was dead in a world of superheroes without a body. But if April was truly gone then he'd do his best to stop this from happening again. Matt had been known as the man without fear but Reilly knew he still had a ways to go to fully live up to that title. His fear revolved around his family and that had held him back from doing what needed to be done. He'd work on that.


End file.
